With the stresses of waiting to get out of the Marines, and every day to day things, Jared and I have been feeling like we are falling apart mentally and physically, because we are just so exhausted with everything. So for the past two months I have been deciding if it would be better for us if I moved home early. I was going back and forth with this because there would be so many factors into play. When I first entertained the idea I had mixed reactions from people back home and that made it hard for me. But after careful consideration Jared and I felt that it would be for the best. Things started to become harder..in the middle of all this I thought of being back in an area with snow and the type of vehicle I drive. Without wanted to ruin such an imaculant car, with a heavy heart I decided to put it up for sale. That was the first test of reality. After that we officially put our notice into the apartment complex and that really set things in, shortly thereafter..we gave our last rent check after living there for 2 years. It was becoming very hard because I still hadn't told my job that I was leaving. Still, I would go home after work and try to pack what I could into boxes so I could be prepared. My plan is to travel home with my parents at the end of this month when they come to California for a family vacation. This week has been especially hard for me. Monday I put in my two week notice and wrote everyone a note to tell them that I was leaving. I did really well up until I started to get responses from everyone. That made it really really set in that there was no turning back. I spend more of my life with my co-workers than I do with my husband so it was really hard to hear them have to tell me goodbye. The hardest of all was the president of the company, he wrote me a sweet letter and gave me a big hug. That was when I broke down. Although I never felt like California was my home and I am so ready to move on with life, I am so saddened! I came to the conclusion that although I have only been here for 4 years, The hardest years of my life were here and I have grown up so much. So I have a deeper attachment that I thought, I think the hardest will be to leave my best friend Jamie. She is such a wonderful person and I feel so blessed to have her in my life. But we all have to do what is best for us and move along with life.
We don't know how long Jared will have to stay in California without me. We still don't know how our fight against the Marine Corps is going. We just know that it's on going and it's not easy. I am excited to be back in my "Home" state and see people that I haven't seen in years, but change is difficult. Plus I have to start into a life transition without Jared AGAIN and that is extremely difficult! But I keep telling Jared and myself that this is all temporary and in the long run of things, it really is for the best.
So to everyone who has touched my life and has been here for me in California. I can not tell you how much I appreciate everything and it wont be goodbye forever, it's a see you soon! (I plan on having a beach house soon lol)
To everyone in Wyoming..I'm coming "home" for a while and I can't wait to see you!
And last but not least..to Montana...I am anxious to see what kind of "home" you are about to become.
Love always!
3 comments:
You are moving to SV! :) It's hard to leave places behind, but there are always things to look forward to when moving. I bet it will be hard without Jared... but you are strong girl! If you ever come to Idaho Falls I would love to see you! Or if I'm ever in the valley I'll give you a call!
Courtney, I can only imagine how hard this is going to be for you and Jared. Plus, leaving a place you have called home for the past 4 years is going to be tough! I feel the same way about Florida - you spend so much time hating a place while your there, but when you realize you're leaving you start to see everything you love about it so much. Good luck with the move, and do everything you can to make it easier on your relationship. You guys have done distance before so I'm sure you'll be okay! By the way - I think you are a terrific writer.
"Every cloud has a bit of silver lining..." Things will be hard, but you are both strong, and you have a lot of people who loves you and be there to give you a hand or a shoulder to cry on every once in a while. I wish I was closer... Keep up, as you say, things will be for the best. Good luck!!!
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